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Thinking About You

by | Jul 27, 2016 | Uncategorized

I’m really sorry, I don’t want to be mad.I was trying so hard to not be mad, to not care about you, I just always looked up to you. I always thought you were going to be the perfect person, and so I put my faith that you would be. And like in the real word, proof can kill faith. You have proven that I should have never trusted you the way I did. I just want to forget you, how you’ve made me feel, sometimes it seems there are more tears than laughter.   I’m sorry, I don’t want to be mad.I don’t want you anymore, I just want to for once forgive and forget, I just never seem to forget, and when I do, you just hurt me again.  I just don’t want to be mad, I want to forgive and forget so I can finally feel like we’re friends again. And that’s the thing, you’re just that perfect friend who would never hurt anybody, so when I’m mad at you half of the time I think you deserve it, the other half I’m hating myself for being mad at you because I know that’s not who you are and I’m just blowing it out of proportion. Other times it’s just hard to think that I spend all this time thinking about you, what I’ve done to you, why you act this way around me, knowing that you never think about me.

Weakness Of The Heart II

by | Jun 30, 2016 | Uncategorized

We just feel. There is absolutely no way to stop it. And we are always feeling something, like when we are completely calm, swaying on a swing on a summer day. Or when we are laughing so hard that our core physically hurts and no sound comes out and you run out of breath, or the time that you see someone, and that someone lights up your eyes, when you see them you stop breathing for a second while your heart melts. So if we all feel these things all the time, and we know that real emotions, cannot be stopped or paused, then why do we label emotions as weakness? Love is a distraction people say. Fear is fake others say. At some point in your live you will feel things that you’ve never felt. You can’t control it, it’s like being in a river. It’s scary, unpredictable, you never know if you’re going to be pulled under, and you just have to learn that you can’t control it. So do not look at someone who is slap happy or depressed and think that they need to learn to control their feelings. Believe me they want to, and could probably use your help.

Worth It?

by | Jun 16, 2016 | Uncategorized

I need to ask you something. Is it worth it?  Should I open my heart to  you? Should I pour my passion out infant of you? Should I let you have that much power over me?  It is a simple yes or no question. Say yes and I will rip my heart out for you, showing you each and every tender spot, and trusting you to not poke at it.  And with time, even though my mind knows better, I millhand you my heart. Placing my soul, my reason of living, my most valuable possession in your hands. And if you choose to walk away, after I have ripped my heart out for you and trusted you with it, then you will forever be walking away from my trust, and the further you walk away, the further my heart is going to numb to you. So I’m guessing you’ll want to say no, keep away from my mess.   And I understand, I do, theres no need to walk away from each other if you decide that. I just need to know, Yes or No?

Beggar Of Attention

by | Jun 1, 2016 | Uncategorized

“I totally know how you feel”
No you don’t, you don’t even know how I feel. I’m mad, but I’m sad. I’m so hurt that someone would hurt me this way. You don’t know what it feels like to beg for even a moment of attention, to be on your knees, wanting only a moment of their day, and to be brushed aside, like nothing more than a speck of dirt in their way. You don’t know what it’s like to feel like a raisin in a bowl of chocolate chips. Knowing you’ll never be picked first or wanted above something else. You’ve never felt like you were something that they used to love, then were cast aside, thrown in a dark corner, buried under the past, just hoping that one day they’ll finally want you, finally think you weren’t worth throwing away, but that has yet to happen. And you start to doubt that it ever will. Yet against all logic you still have hope, and a longing, you try to talk yourself out of love. But you never can. They continue to hurt you, in the smallest of ways, and it starts to drive you mad, believing that they’re better than the way to they treat you. But at the end of the day, to them, you’re still just a speck in their way. They may notice you, but only to brush you aside.
But yeah, I’m sure you know exactly how I feel.

A Light Surrounded By Darkness

by | May 18, 2016 | Uncategorized

There sits a girl, wrapped in darkness. She surrounds herself with her feelings, not wanting to keep them inside. Knowing that eventually they would burst out. Wondering who would be there for her, to be her friend in troubling times. But no one ever comes, they are all afraid to get near her feelings because they all know how real they are.No one will sit in the corner with her, afraid to be forgotten by the world. When will someone look past the darkness surrounding the girl. When will someone look past their own fear to see her cut. Her heart has been cut, and if no one comes to her rescue her, her heart could break. All it takes is a kind friend with a band aid to begin healing. All they need to do is see the light surrounded by darkness, and add their own light.

– Look beyond people’s darkness.